I havent laughed like that in a long time.....

Today at school we had our kids in line to go to a different room. Halfway through the line someone gave me a hug which was followed by another hug from the child behind them, and so on and so on for about 5 or 6 kids. Well on the last lil boy, I guess baby Owen didnt appreciate all of the squeezing and he gave a good KICK to the lil boys head. The lil boy just looked at me like, "Why the heck did you do that?". lmao Kim and I laughed so hard we had tears and I almost peed my pants. I havent had a good laugh like that in over a month. It felt good to laugh and be able to enjoy a special moment like that.

Yesterday at my doctors appointment, baby kicked my doctor when she was palpating him and AGAIN when she was listening with her doppler. She laughed and said, "He is a sassy one!"

If you poke him once, he gets ya back right away!! Its pretty funny. And when he is hungry, do NOT mess with him. I swear he is pinching me until I eat. He definitely has the "Arlene" blood running strong. ;)

I hope and pray that I have many many many more special moments like these!!

xoxo
S

UPDATE: I felt hiccups for the first time tonight. 4/28/10

A Picture Says It All (25.2 weeks)

My Brighton charms...

xoxo
S

Big Ben

Yes, Im a Steelers fan. I blame my mom. She has made me wear Steelers clothing since the days of Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris. Im not so much a football fan, but I love the Steelers and I love Ben so I will watch it for them. Ben has made some really really crappy choices lately and he is going down the wrong path. It happens way too often in our society. These young people get all this pressure put on them and if they arent taught how to handle it, they get in trouble. I can see both sides of the story when it comes to Ben. I can see him being a cocky perv behaving badly when hes drank too much AND I can see some skank just wanting to take advantage of his fame and get her 15 minutes. That is not the point though. The point is that the NFL finally did what they have needed to do for a long time and they are having Ben get the help he needs. He has a big choice to make and I really really hope he takes this opportunity seriously and takes full advantage of what he is being offered. Its not too late for him to make a fresh start and to be the kind of man he should be and the kind of role model young kids need. I am 100% for therapy and changing behavior. It CAN be done, as long as you WANT it to be done and you can ADMIT that you have changes to make. I will miss you during your suspension, Ben, but I really hope that you use this time wisely and get back on track!! I absolutely do NOT want to see you get yourself traded!! I have the cutest pink #7 jersey!!! Show them you are serious and you want the help and do the work!!! Playtime is over, its time to be a man now and make everyone proud of your behavior again!!

xoxo
S


UPDATE: I wanted to add the statement Ben made about his suspension (courtesy of the Steelers official website):


Statement By Ben Roethlisberger Regarding His Suspension
Posted Apr 26, 2010

"The Commissioner’s decision to suspend me speaks clearly that more is expected of me. I am accountable for the consequences of my actions. Though I have committed no crime, I regret that I have fallen short of the values instilled in me by my family. I will not appeal the suspension and will comply with what is asked of me ─ and more.

Missing games will be devastating for me. I am sorry to let down my teammates and the entire Steelers fan base. I am disappointed that I have reached this point and will not put myself in this situation again.

I appreciate the opportunities that I have been given in my life and will make the necessary improvements.”

MY NEW MOST AWESOME JOB :)

Well folks, it has happened. I didnt think it was ever going to happen. Not since 1995 have I said these words, "I love my job!". Now its 2010 and thats how ever many years since 1995.....I dont do math.......and I can say it again!!

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I LOVE MY JOB!!!! :)

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I started my new job today and seriously, I dont even think I should call it a job, it was way too much fun to be......gasp......work. I get to spend the day with a long time friend who is just as blonde as I am and together we get to play with 3, 4, and 5 years olds and sneak in some learning stuff along the way.

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I was starting to think that I wouldnt use my Psych and Social Work education again in a "job" setting. I use it in every day life, but I never thought I would use it in something that paid me. But now I get to. AND and and, I also get to do that Education thing that I dont have a degree in, but I absolutely love doing!!

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I had a total blast today and I cant wait to go back and see those little smiling faces, asking me "Who are YOU?". lol

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I just wanted to share my good news. Its been a very rough past 4 weeks, and I am so happy and thankful to have good news for a change.

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xoxo

S

Where is the line...

There should be a line, but there isnt. Thats what makes it so hard. Thats what makes all of it a complete and total leap of faith.

Which is worse, not knowing enough or knowing too much?? At this particular moment, I would have to say the latter of the two is worse.

Where is that line that gets crossed between wanting to find something out in order to benefit someone and finding out just because you can find out? Is the medical field taking it too far, meddling too much with nature, trying to take over Gods work?

These are things that until recent weeks, I had never had to think about. I lived carefree and ate junk food and drank too much caffeine and, now, I try to eat well and be a good grownup and it seems at every corner I am told more bad news. And the people telling me the bad news act as if they are telling me their favorite color. Its no big deal to them. To them I am just a number. Whats that oath that doctors have to take? I should look up the wording of that. Maybe I should have them all repeat it to me before they tell me any news or tell me what they think.

When is it too much to handle? I feel like I am being ripped to shreds. My strength and my hope is being tested on a daily basis. Faced with what I have been faced with, I still want to believe that everything is ok, and I am to the point where Id rather have things caveman style than deal with all of these doctors and all of their self-proclaimed knowledge and technology and tests.

Grr.


UPDATE:
In other news, a while back I was able to settle on one thing that I wanted to be when I grow up. YAY ME!!! I posted it on Facebook but I have been such a slacker blogger that I never brought it here. So. Thats one thing off my plate and off my mind. Thats all I can tell you about this topic........for now.

Self Therapy blog, maybe?

I have things on my mind.
This is what happens when I have all day to think with nothing but the dogs and the laundry to distract me. Thinking is a good thing, but it tends to lead to overthinking and overthinking is bad. Overthinking leads to depression and low self worth and paranoia. Not good, right? Nope. Darn right yucky.
So perhaps venting in the form of blogging will allow me to escape overthinking and all of its poor qualities and release all of this from my head. Or at least I can try.
Lets start with.......being pregnant. I was not planning on this and I am finding that I am really freaked out and not emotionally and physically prepared for this journey. I thought I was done and I had put to rest all of the feelings and pain of this whole process. Aye yi yi. I gotta figure out how to process all of this and find the strength to do it. I feel too old. I feel like I have forgotten how to do this. I can do this, right?
Now lets move on to......being jobless. I was not planning on this either. Yes it was my choice to leave, but for me, being without a job is like me being without a sense of who I am. Rather, who I am supposed to be. I wish for......no.....I long for the day when I can say "I love my job!", whatever that job may be. I really dont know what I am supposed to be doing. Ive battled this for a while and I just cant seem to land on one for sure thing that holds my attention and my passion. Im a pinball machine ball, just bouncing around, being flung back and forth, til I finally settle where I belong. Wherever the heck that is?
I know what you are thinking. I said I wasnt planning on either of those things happening which is true, but in a way it comes out sounding like Im not accepting responsibility for my part in either of these events. Not even close. I accept my part in both of these things and I accept how I had a choice in both matters and I accept how they have affected me. That doesnt mean though that that I have figured out the next phase. It just means that I understand the beginning.
Other than that, Im good. Thank goodness, huh? ;)
Til next time...
xoxo
S

Whats happening?

My gosh. Where to even begin? I guess the last time I blogged it was Christmas, so we will pick up in January of this new year.

Well, we had my birthday, 29 of course, in January. :)

I got a bit of a birthday surprise a few days before my birthday. I discovered I was pregnant. I had none of the obvious symptoms, and one of the symptoms wasnt very distinct so I thought nothing of it. It was pretty typical for me actually. Anyway. I was trying to figure out when I last changed my contacts so I was flipping through my calendar. I suddenly realized a certain other monthly date was missing from my calendar.........for quite a few months. Um, OOPS! So I took a test. And the next day another one. And the next day another one. Well, lets just say there was no need to grade on a curve cuz the results were all exactly the same each time. I finally gave in and decided it wasnt wrong.

So I tell Husband when he gets home. His response was "Are you kidding me?". Um. No.

Then I have to tell my mother. It went better than I expected but Im pretty sure she knew I was anxiety ridden already and she didnt want to further upset me.

Then I told my kids. Brodie said "Good for you, hope its a boy." and thats all he had to say about it. Max said "I hope its a boy too and I hope it doesnt bite my legs and follow me around." I think he thinks its a puppy?? lol Hannah thought I was joking and then she walked out of the room. I talked to her later and shes ok with it now, but at first she was not a happy girl.

Then it went down the line to letting the rest of my family know, letting my close close friends know, and slowly letting it all sink in and become real. There were some that were really happy and some that thought I was joking.

I headed to my doctor. She laughed when she saw me cuz I had told her I would NOT be back for a baby. She scheduled an Ultrasound cuz we really had no idea how far along I was. (Remember that not so distinct symptom I told you about?)

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As of today I am 14 weeks, 3 days. I do not feel pregnant, just fat and tired.

The really funny thing about this whole deal is that one of my good friends is also pregnant and her due date is just four days after mine. We both have 3 kids already, we both have the same doctor, and we have both decided that we want to be in the hospital at the same time. Our doctor found this pretty funny too. :)

Some other things have happened too in these first two months of 2010, but I dont really care to discuss one of them. Ya never know whos eyes are lookin. Lets just say that although the choice I made was a good one for me, I know I didnt go about it in the best manner. For that I am sorry, but I am not sorry that I left.

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I may have more news coming up, but I dont want to jump the gun. I will keep you posted on it as well as try to be a better blogger. ;)

Til next time...

xoxo

S

From our family to yours.......

......we wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

xoxo
Stef, Rusty, Hannah, Max, & Brodie

The Happenings

Hello people!! :)

I dont blog like I should. And Im ok with that. People who want to know what Im up to just read my Facebook. I dont like to double up and put the same stuff in a billion places. Im weird like that. I usually save up and then do one blog covering a bunch of diff things that have happened over the last month or so. So, thats what ya get from me, take it or leave it. :)

The biggest news from the past month was our search yet again for a place for our horses to live. What I plan to do is buy some land one of these days and if it has a barn already on it with fenced pasture that would be IDEAL. Until that ideal location actually presents itself and becomes a reality, just know that they are staying at a wonderful place with a wonderful family who loves enjoys having them at their place. It was a stressful situation to have to go through again. We have been moving them about every 8 months. I credit my theory of guardian angels disguised as friends for providing our boys a very quiet and calm place for them to call home. They seem to be really happy. Mac is like a different horse. He usually focuses so much on the mares that live with him. Now he has no mares to distract him and steal all of his attention. Poor guy has to get attention from (gasp!) humans now!! haha He has been a sweetie and its helping him to be less skittish. Sisco is still Sisco, my giant dog in a horses body who follows me around and loves attention attention attention. Heres a look at them in their new place, running and enjoying themselves, and then another in front of the big red pretty barn:

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Lets see, what else. Hannah and I have been riding 2-3 times a week. She actually got on Mac one day. She fell off of him, but she got on him in the first place and thats what counts!!

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My new old job is going well. Im back into the groove and its almost like I never left 7 years ago. Im very thankful that my Sue Sue is still there!! She keeps me sane most days. JRS brings a smile to my face on the days she is there!! I have a blast with Bailey Hailey!! Its good to actually like your job. :)

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Max had Family Fun Night at his school last week. We now have a new member of the family as a result. He got a ping pong ball into a fish bowl on his first shot and won a fish who we named Pong. Heres Pong in his lil home:

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Lets see, what else is new. I got a new cell phone. Yes, again. I loved my LG but it was only a tri-band and in this area, I have to have a quad band. So I got a new phone. I love love love it!!! Wow!! HTC rocks!! :)

Hannah has her first Choir Concert coming up this month so I will post a blog about that. Max has a Music Program on the 1st of December and he has a speaking part. Eek!! I will post about that as well. New Moon comes out next week and we already have Date Night planned with TCF so that will generate some news as it always does. hehe Then its Thanksgiving, YUM!!

Til next time.... (The Steelers are on, I gotta go!!) :)

xoxo

S

New Job!! :)

This blog is dedicated to Jill cuz shes been asking for it for days now!!

Ok, so heres the scoop......as you know I was subbing in the elementary schools. Loved it. I was good at it. It wasnt steady enough. Period. Theres more to the story but I dont care to bore you or myself with it. Its in the past and Im blogging about the PRESENT!!!

A few months ago I had the opportunity to return to an old job at our local newspaper working in advertising. At that time I had different plans for myself. Those plans involved going back to school to get my Masters, and working at the school fit right into those plans. We wont go into all the details and the whys, but it was just what I thought I was supposed to be doing at the time. Well, needless to say, real life and real bills and real responsibilities trumped over the school idea. Im finally in a place where I have things on track and manageable. I didnt feel the need to tack on more and throw things all out of whack. So, I didnt....

Then I was lucky enough to have the same opportunity come calling again!! I found myself so very excited about it making a reappearance!! I immediately skipped uptown and left a note on my old boss' desk. She got back with me and we met and the rest is history!!

IM BACK!!! Im an Advertising Representative again!!! This is what I was doing before Maxers was born. At that time, I stayed mostly inside the office. This time I will be mostly outside the office. I have a set list of accounts and I can always expand that list with new clients if the occasion arises. Basically what I do is this. I go see my clients on a weekly basis. I let them know about any specials we have going on, any special sections we have coming up, and find out what they are needing as far as advertising. Then I head back to the office and schedule the ads, draw them up with my ideas for the ad, and send the ads back to the graphic design girls and they computerize it and get it ready to appear in the paper and on the website.

I was there four days last week, meeting my people and getting my feet wet, trying to recall all these old memories of how things are done in the advertising world. Finally, on Friday, I got my KEY to the office. hehe I knew I would be going in on Saturday and getting my desk cleaned and organized according to how I need it to be to function. Yall know Im weird and picky and anal, and my desk just was.....not. Well, after FOUR HOURS, of me, Hannah, and Max working on my desk, it is done and clean and sanitized and organized and ready to go on Monday!!!

Here are some pics of the finished product!!! The second pic shows my new phone. I just couldnt keep that old one, it freaked me out. Germs. Yick. I dont do germs. We went through a whole container of Clorox wipes while cleaning this desk. lmao





How do you like it??? Yes, I had all the things that I wanted to take in and put at my desk sitting on my dining table for four days. I couldnt wait til it was mine all mine!! Doesnt the new clean black phone look so much better than the germy yellowed yicky phone?? lol My kids all drew or colored me a picture. They are on my bulletin board. Max colored a bee, Hannah colored a horse, and Brodie drew me a Starbucks mocha. I will use the bottom of the bulletin board for actual work things. I dont usually put alot of things up there, just schedules and monthly calendars. My pics and knick knacks are color coordinated (lmao) in green and blue. My work things that Ill take with me daily are PINK. That painting is one that I did that goes with a set of 3 that I have at my house but I took it away from the set to have at work.

So anyway, thats that. Any questions?? (Did I cover it enough for ya JB??)

Til next time...

xoxo

S