That's Just the Way It Is

That's just the way it is, the way it's gonna be. Chalk it up to my older age. Chalk it up to being fed up. Chalk it up to having had enough. Chalk it up to whatever you'd like because this is how it's gonna be. I'm a strong person. I'm a helping person. I'm a put myself AFTER others person. If someone needs to talk, I'm there. If someone needs help, I'm there. I've been like this my whole life and although I don't see it changing anytime soon, there will be modifications made. And this is why.........I don't care how strong I am or how much shit I have been through and bounced back from. I don't care how much street cred I got or how I am able to figure shit out on my own and do shit on my own. I don't care that when I'm asked for help I can rock that shit. I don't care that I have good advice. I don't care. What I do care about is reciprocation. I am done with the treat others how you would like to be treated mentality. Ya wanna know why?? Because all that gets me is treated like an option. When I ask for help, I get crickets. When I need someone to talk to, they turn it around to all about them. I get viewed as the strong girl who doesn't need anyone because she can do it all herself. Yer right. But does that give you the right to discard me when I actually put myself out there and admit that I need help, admit that I need to talk? Do you know how much it took for me to get to that point? Do you know what it feels like to have you turn your back when I have had yours time and time again? I'll tell you how it feels......................IT FEELS LIKE SHIT AND I'M SICK OF IT. So, now for the modifications I mentioned. Will I still help ya? You bet. Will I still be there when you need to talk? You bet. Will I still put others before me? Freakin probably, it's who I am. BUT. Here we go. You ready to hear this?? That's rhetorical. I don't give a shit if you're ready or not because you're going to hear it and you're going to hear it right now. DON'T ASK ME FOR HELP IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME. DON'T ASK ME TO TALK IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE TO TALK WHEN I NEED TO TALK. DON'T PUT ME IN A POSITION TO PUT YOU BEFORE MYSELF IF YOU WOULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR ME. Easy enough, don't ya think? Now, trust me, I know who my ride or dies are. I also know who some of my ride or dies should be and they have failed me more than once. And I know who won't give me the time of day unless it's all about them. Let's remember I have a Psych degree, shall we? I know your game before you will ever admit your game. I also know that reading this may spark a lil guilt on your behalf, whether it relates to me or to someone else like me in your life. GOOD!! You feel guilty? THEN MAKE SOME CHANGES. STOP BEING A USER AND A POS HUMAN BEING. Only YOU can decide to do that, so do it. Also know this, I only give so many chances. Call it the Capricorn in me, call it survival, call it whatever you want, but know that I have no problem closing the door to you if you do me wrong enough. I can give you references. ;) So, in conclusion, if you aren't there for me when I need you especially after I've been there for you whenever you needed me, then I wouldn't continue to count on me being there for you. It's a two way street, Sweetcheeks. That is all.

Have a good one, yall!!!