Self Therapy blog, maybe?

I have things on my mind.
This is what happens when I have all day to think with nothing but the dogs and the laundry to distract me. Thinking is a good thing, but it tends to lead to overthinking and overthinking is bad. Overthinking leads to depression and low self worth and paranoia. Not good, right? Nope. Darn right yucky.
So perhaps venting in the form of blogging will allow me to escape overthinking and all of its poor qualities and release all of this from my head. Or at least I can try.
Lets start with.......being pregnant. I was not planning on this and I am finding that I am really freaked out and not emotionally and physically prepared for this journey. I thought I was done and I had put to rest all of the feelings and pain of this whole process. Aye yi yi. I gotta figure out how to process all of this and find the strength to do it. I feel too old. I feel like I have forgotten how to do this. I can do this, right?
Now lets move on to......being jobless. I was not planning on this either. Yes it was my choice to leave, but for me, being without a job is like me being without a sense of who I am. Rather, who I am supposed to be. I wish for......no.....I long for the day when I can say "I love my job!", whatever that job may be. I really dont know what I am supposed to be doing. Ive battled this for a while and I just cant seem to land on one for sure thing that holds my attention and my passion. Im a pinball machine ball, just bouncing around, being flung back and forth, til I finally settle where I belong. Wherever the heck that is?
I know what you are thinking. I said I wasnt planning on either of those things happening which is true, but in a way it comes out sounding like Im not accepting responsibility for my part in either of these events. Not even close. I accept my part in both of these things and I accept how I had a choice in both matters and I accept how they have affected me. That doesnt mean though that that I have figured out the next phase. It just means that I understand the beginning.
Other than that, Im good. Thank goodness, huh? ;)
Til next time...
xoxo
S