Where is the line...

There should be a line, but there isnt. Thats what makes it so hard. Thats what makes all of it a complete and total leap of faith.

Which is worse, not knowing enough or knowing too much?? At this particular moment, I would have to say the latter of the two is worse.

Where is that line that gets crossed between wanting to find something out in order to benefit someone and finding out just because you can find out? Is the medical field taking it too far, meddling too much with nature, trying to take over Gods work?

These are things that until recent weeks, I had never had to think about. I lived carefree and ate junk food and drank too much caffeine and, now, I try to eat well and be a good grownup and it seems at every corner I am told more bad news. And the people telling me the bad news act as if they are telling me their favorite color. Its no big deal to them. To them I am just a number. Whats that oath that doctors have to take? I should look up the wording of that. Maybe I should have them all repeat it to me before they tell me any news or tell me what they think.

When is it too much to handle? I feel like I am being ripped to shreds. My strength and my hope is being tested on a daily basis. Faced with what I have been faced with, I still want to believe that everything is ok, and I am to the point where Id rather have things caveman style than deal with all of these doctors and all of their self-proclaimed knowledge and technology and tests.

Grr.


UPDATE:
In other news, a while back I was able to settle on one thing that I wanted to be when I grow up. YAY ME!!! I posted it on Facebook but I have been such a slacker blogger that I never brought it here. So. Thats one thing off my plate and off my mind. Thats all I can tell you about this topic........for now.