That's Just the Way It Is

That's just the way it is, the way it's gonna be. Chalk it up to my older age. Chalk it up to being fed up. Chalk it up to having had enough. Chalk it up to whatever you'd like because this is how it's gonna be. I'm a strong person. I'm a helping person. I'm a put myself AFTER others person. If someone needs to talk, I'm there. If someone needs help, I'm there. I've been like this my whole life and although I don't see it changing anytime soon, there will be modifications made. And this is why.........I don't care how strong I am or how much shit I have been through and bounced back from. I don't care how much street cred I got or how I am able to figure shit out on my own and do shit on my own. I don't care that when I'm asked for help I can rock that shit. I don't care that I have good advice. I don't care. What I do care about is reciprocation. I am done with the treat others how you would like to be treated mentality. Ya wanna know why?? Because all that gets me is treated like an option. When I ask for help, I get crickets. When I need someone to talk to, they turn it around to all about them. I get viewed as the strong girl who doesn't need anyone because she can do it all herself. Yer right. But does that give you the right to discard me when I actually put myself out there and admit that I need help, admit that I need to talk? Do you know how much it took for me to get to that point? Do you know what it feels like to have you turn your back when I have had yours time and time again? I'll tell you how it feels......................IT FEELS LIKE SHIT AND I'M SICK OF IT. So, now for the modifications I mentioned. Will I still help ya? You bet. Will I still be there when you need to talk? You bet. Will I still put others before me? Freakin probably, it's who I am. BUT. Here we go. You ready to hear this?? That's rhetorical. I don't give a shit if you're ready or not because you're going to hear it and you're going to hear it right now. DON'T ASK ME FOR HELP IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME. DON'T ASK ME TO TALK IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE TO TALK WHEN I NEED TO TALK. DON'T PUT ME IN A POSITION TO PUT YOU BEFORE MYSELF IF YOU WOULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR ME. Easy enough, don't ya think? Now, trust me, I know who my ride or dies are. I also know who some of my ride or dies should be and they have failed me more than once. And I know who won't give me the time of day unless it's all about them. Let's remember I have a Psych degree, shall we? I know your game before you will ever admit your game. I also know that reading this may spark a lil guilt on your behalf, whether it relates to me or to someone else like me in your life. GOOD!! You feel guilty? THEN MAKE SOME CHANGES. STOP BEING A USER AND A POS HUMAN BEING. Only YOU can decide to do that, so do it. Also know this, I only give so many chances. Call it the Capricorn in me, call it survival, call it whatever you want, but know that I have no problem closing the door to you if you do me wrong enough. I can give you references. ;) So, in conclusion, if you aren't there for me when I need you especially after I've been there for you whenever you needed me, then I wouldn't continue to count on me being there for you. It's a two way street, Sweetcheeks. That is all.

Have a good one, yall!!!

Take Care of You

People say I am strong. I even call myself strong. At times though, it can be a blessing and a curse. When you combine it with other things going on in life that have you completely rattled to your core, it tends to be more of a curse than a blessing. In the end though, it usually comes back around to being a blessing.

This past weekend was a whopper for me. Things have been building up inside and have been confusing and when I cant figure stuff out, that is no bueno. Im usually strong and independent and self assured and even sometimes pretty confident. So, when things are going on and they effect all of those traits that define me, its basically an emotional shitfest inside my head. I still havent completely worked through all of the stuff bouncing around in my head, but I have started on it. I am trying to understand it. I am trying to get it figured out and sorted out so that I can stop feeling like this. Im not sure yet what the magic ingredient is. I know what some of the components are and some I can fix on my own, but some involve other people and well, I cant fix that on my own. We will see whether or not they wanna help or hinder. Here is what I know so far.... 

This past weekend, I am pretty sure I had what they call a Nervous Breakdown. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they call it that because I felt angry, sad, confused, lost, helpless, hopeless............at no time did I feel nervous. Lets just call it a Breakdown then, shall we?? Its my blog, so yeah, I can do that. I could feel it all welling up over time. Its so confusing to me, and such a strange place for me to be, that I have had a hell of a time sorting it all out and putting it all to words and trying to make sense of it all so that I can figure out how to move forward. I did what I normally do and got quiet while I tried to have talks with myself in my head. Well, the talks werent working so I went for a drive. I had a mission and that mission failed miserably right in front of my freaking eyes and after that.................BREAKDOWN. Suddenly, I felt such rage and such sadness and such utter loss and despair. I found myself having a very loud conversation with myself that was NOT in my head. I was screaming and crying and punching my steering wheel and trying to figure out WHY WHY WHY!?!??!?!?!? Well, I guess just the venting out loud and not necessarily having to make sense, just saying words and thoughts and feelings out loud to get them all out of my head and into the universe so that maybe I can start to get a grip on all of it and figure it out and move forward.....helped. Some things poured out that I didnt even know were in my head needing to come out, but there they were, being yelled out in my truck. Hmm. Well, ok then. I hadnt completely admitted to myself that that was part of my issues, I guess, but it was and it turned out to be one that was at the forefront and thankfully it was one that I could control myself. Yay!! A little bit of progress!!!! So, after I got done yelling out things, I realized I was basically tattling on myself. I had changed. I had allowed myself to change. I had become someone that definitely was not me and someone that I couldnt even stand. I had let something that made ME............me.........go and that was unacceptable!!! I am NOT a wallflower, I am not a follower, I am not meek and mild, I am not someone to be put under someones thumb, I am not someone to ask permission or be told how to live MY life!!!! So, first step.......get that part of me back right that freakin moment. Check. Next step, for the love of God, learn how to control situations rather than REACTING to them. HOLY WOW, thats a big one for me, so that one will take some time. My lil rager in my truck was actually therapeutic because I had apparently had A LOT built up, but in the future, I would rather be able to control and not react. Another step, dont punch your steering wheel. That thing is solid and that shit hurts. I dont think we need to elaborate further on that one. Id like to say I will throw in not throwing shit (see what I did there lol), but Id be lyin and for the most part, throwin shit it pretty harmless as long as ya got good aim and can replace the thing yer throwin without much cost LOL Sorry, not sorry. Some things are carved in stone, baby!!! ;) Ok, so after all of that went down in my truck, I felt pretty calm. I was at peace with some shit that I had needed to be at peace with for a long time. The "other people" stuff still remains, but there aint a whole lot I can do about that. I just need to focus on myself and being ME and never again allowing myself to stray from who I am or how I choose to live MY life. 

So, thats that. I had that personal situation rattling around in my head for a few days now and thought Id blog about it. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has emotions. All feelings are valid. I tell other people that all the time. I should have been tellin myself that so my lil breakdown could have been avoided. But hey, what they say is true, when ya hit bottom, the only other way ya can go is back up, and thats exactly what Im gonna do!!! Remember, Im strong. I will still stumble, but strong doesnt mean perfect or indestructible. 

Ive got some baby chicks to go love on now!!! Take care of YOU!!! 

Til next time....

Animal Lover to my Core

I felt like I needed to update from my last blog post. I was in a pretty dark place because it had been a rough few weeks and it had taken its emotional toll on me. It takes me a while to work through stuff in my head and get my head back on straight. Earlier this week, I had sworn off any more animals because the heartache and heartbreak gets to be so hard on my heart. I wondered how many times my heart could be broken before it wasnt able to be fixed.

As an animal lover, animal advocate, animal rescuer, I tend to be attracted to those like myself, those who understand my struggles, those who understand the ups and the downs, those who have felt the immense joy of saving an animal and the utter despair of losing one. It has been through those folks that I have been able to get myself sorted out and back on track. They go through the same kind of things that I go through. They know how it feels and how it crushes you and how you still feel guilty even though your head knows you did all you could do, you did the best you could do, you tried your hardest. I guess in seeing my fellow animal advocates go through their losses and struggles, I was able to try to help them through it and by doing that I noticed that I should be listening to my own words. I am thankful every day for these folks. I know that no matter what I say or do or feel, that they understand. 💙

It has been my passion since I was a small child to save all the animals. I was always bringing something home. It usually worked against me because my parents put their foot down. Thats why being an adult with my own place is amazeballs........and that place being my long dreamt of FARM......means there is even more room for the furries and the featheries and nobody can tell me no!!!! hehe I mean, sometimes they try, but if ya know me, ya know I am stubborn and I dont listen.

So....with all that being said, I still want to save all the animals I can. I will always do my best by them and love them every day they are with me. I will always struggle with losing them and that I cannot change. It is also a part of who I am. But another part of who I am is a strong person who always finds a way to carry on. There are so many animals in this world who need animal warriors like myself and my advocate friends, and that need is only getting moreso. I know that I can only do what I can do within reason and I try not to overwhelm myself. I know that I cannot save them all, no matter how much I want to. 

CHEERS to all my fellow animal advocates!!! Know that you MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! You matter!! You are amazing!!!!! Animals will always depend on you to be their voice, be their warrior!!! We must fight on, despite the tears that may be running down our cheeks, despite our fears of losing another precious soul. WE MUST FIGHT ON!!!!!!

I love you all 💜 Thank you for being who you are!! Thank you for being in my life!!! Thank you for all you do to help animals!!! Thank you for allowing me into your darkest thoughts and sorrows so that you could, in turn, help me through my darkest thoughts and sorrows!!!!!

PS We have our next animal project in mind!! Stay tuned!!! hehe

Til next time.....

Farm Life

That picture was posted on Facebook the other day and it spoke very strongly to me.

(Photo credits to Oak Apple Farm on Facebook)

Look at it.

Let it sink in.

This is my life now.

I am getting to know it all too well.

Some days it is my sanctuary from the world.

Quite frankly, some days it hurts like hell.

When I was a kid, I lived on a farm. Back then, I didn't have to deal with the adult stuff that I get to now. I got to be a kid and just play all day and love on my baby pigs and my baby cows and ride my dirt bike and play in the corn crib. The more years we spent there, the more adult stuff I witnessed. We had a fox get in and kill our ducks. My Dad cut a chickens head off and it was running around the yard without a head. I would shoot my BB gun into a tall Pine tree and one day a bird fell out. I had killed it. I had gotten a baby chick once. Just one. I don't even remember where I got it. It died. I know now that you cannot get just one chick. I used to go all kinds of fun places with my dad when I was young. One day, he took me with him to the slaughterhouse. I'm sure I begged to go with him and then I got to learn where my piggies and cows went when they grew up. Ugh. I couldn't eat dinner after that. And, I got in trouble for not eating my dinner and had to sit at the table for hours until my mom and dad got sick of me sitting there refusing to eat my piggy or cow. 

The farm we have now isn't a raise animals and eat them kinda farm. I don't have the stomach for that. That doesn't mean that since we have lived here we haven't seen our fair share of death and heartache. Some days it feels like more than our fair share. We are an animal rescuing, animal advocating, animals rock more than people, kind of family. We walk our piggies in the yard and get strange looks from our neighbors. We talk to our goats when they talk to us. We walk around the pasture leaving carrot trails for the horses to follow. We sit with chickens and kiss em too. We have barn cats that follow us all over like they are dogs. Our animals are our life here. It's the whole reason we wanted a farm. So we could have all the animals we want and love em every day!!

That doesn't stop the sadness and death from creeping in and crushing us on occasion. We have barn cats that just show up here. None of them fixed, so we fix them. Many of them either old or not well. We have lots of chickens and we will go out and everyone is fine and then we will go back out three hours later and we have a sick chicken or an old chicken that is nearing the end. This doesn't happen every day, and in the grand scheme of things, it probably doesn't happen a lot. It just seems like when it does happen, it happens in waves and it feels like that wave is pushing you down and you can't get back up. We do everything we can, but sometimes it isn't enough and that sucks. We want to keep all our animals with us forever, alive and happy. That isn't reality though. And, on a farm with lots of animals, it can happen more than the average. Every single time it happens, it takes a piece of your heart away. This last time it happened, the most frequent time, I found myself, for the first time in my life, saying I can't do it anymore. I can't get any more animals because they will just die one day. I am still at that point today, to be honest. This year has been tough and it's only three weeks into it. It has been back to back to back losses these three weeks and my strength has seriously been tested, my heart has been broken.

I blog about loss and grief often. It's not like I want to. I'd love to have a happy happy, joy joy, fun fun, blog. I guess that isn't meant to be. Sorry. I write about my life and about what's real and often about what's tough to write about. I write about things in my head that I need to get out. I write about things in hopes that maybe someone else can relate and not feel so alone. Death has always been my biggest downfall, my biggest fear. I absolutely hated it as a kid and I would avoid it and run from it. After losing my horse suddenly in 2012, and in 2010 being told I was going to lose my baby it was just a matter of time as to when it would happen, to losing my old dogs and cats when they were 12 and 19 years old, to losing stray cats that just showed up in our life and we had grown to love them, to losing a chicken who seemed to have been unwell from the very start of her life and I hoped I could be her savior, you would think that it would get easier. Well, it doesn't. So, if I seem quiet or withdrawn, just give me my space. Give me time to sort it all out in my head. Give me time to get back to wanting to bring home another animal or ten. Give me time to get back to ME. In the meantime, give your animals extra love and hugs for me.

Farm life is amazing.

I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I am at peace among all of my animals.

It's just hard some days.....

Farming teaches you how to be totally responsible and completely powerless.

No truer words have been said.

Til next time,

Merry Chickmas 2018

The holidays are not an easy time for many for one reason or another, myself included, so I thought I would hopefully put a smile on your face by sharing this sweet picture of my Thanksgiving babies with their momma all decked out for Christmas. Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!! Remember the reason for the season and cherish the time spent with your loved ones. Please be kind to one another and be safe if you're traveling. I would also like to extend a special Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of our servicemen and women and thank them once again for their service and sacrifice. My Christmas wish is that all of the animals in shelters across the United States have a warm and loving Christmas and find their forever homes very soon, and that any animal that is lost finds its way back home safely, and that humans choose to be kind and loving and empathetic to one another in the new year and beyond. Blessings to you all!!!! ♡

MERRY CHICKMAS!!! ❤️💚

Til next year.....

One Second Delay

Ah grief. That thing that never leaves you. That thing that sneaks up on you when you plan on having a good day and it decides otherwise. That tricky lil buggar that is supposed to be "cured" the more time goes on. Grief. The reality is that it never leaves you. When you lose someone that means so much to you, the grief you feel from losing them is with you every single day. There is something I have noticed since losing my Owen and my Sisco. I call it the "one second delay". You know how TV has the three second delay, so that they can fix any naughty words or whatever they don't want actually airing? Well, grief has a one second delay. On those nights where you actually find yourself sleeping peacefully and your mind is filled with wonderful dreams, when you wake up, there is one second where your brain actually forgets about the grief you live with daily. There is one second where you feel calm and without a care in the world. There is one second where you haven't lost anyone. And then, the second is gone. Your brain kicks in and kicks out all of those calm, peaceful feelings, and the grief comes rushing back in, reminding you full force that your loved ones are still gone and your grief lives on. Blah. The holidays bring out the grief the worst in me. I will make sure to post a happy post soon.

Til then....

On the Wings of Angels

This weekend, while at the store, we ran into a friend of my hubby's and his little boy. The little boy was an avid animal lover and we were talking about all the animals we both had, which was A LOT. We walked out to the parking lot still talking about animals and how amazing they are and we said our goodbyes. That was when I learned his name. Owen. I almost cried. Here was this amazing lil fella who loved animals as much as I did and it just warmed my heart and crushed it all at once. Grief does that to ya. And, I don't care who came up with the dumb phrase of "time heals all wounds" but it's a crock of shit. You never fully heal. You may learn a new way of living with out them, but you never fully heal from the loss of them. You pray and hope for signs from them. You look forward to that on a daily basis. At least I do....

When the summer is here, I find myself seeing my angels, Owen and Sisco, in butterfly form. They will flutter around our heads, or linger around Owen's bush or around the pasture with Mac and Trader, and I will get the distinct feeling that it's one of my angels coming to say hello, to let us know that they think of us as much as we think of them, to be with us even though they can't be with us in the forms we knew them as.

Then summer ends........the butterflies go......

Since then I have noticed things I have never noticed before. I think they are new. Before we moved to the farm, I would have white feathers appear in my path when we would go to feed the horses. One time, my hubby and I both clearly heard a child yell MOM and it was none of our kids who were all in their rooms at the time. I also associate rainbows with my Owen. Now that we are at the farm, I have noticed new ways my angels are communicating with me. I pray every night for them to come see me, to come say hi. I miss them both more than words can say and I can admit that I nag them and want them to be with me in spirit every. single. day. Most days, they comply with their momma. Those days are better than the days when they don't.

My Sisco has been sending me "S" signs. I will look down and there will be a piece of dried grass in the shape of an S, or a piece of hay in the shape of an S in the barn, or a cloud in the shape of an S. I saw a few and although I noticed them, I didn't really think too much of them. Then, I kept seeing them and seeing them and I would just giggle to myself and smile knowing my sweet boy was wanting to be here with his momma as much as she wanted him here with her. We had a very special connection. I could talk to him and he understood. He would go anywhere I would go. If I sat down, he would stay right beside me and eat while I talked to him. If you aren't a horse lover and you've never had a horse, then I don't expect you to understand this connection or how huge this loss was to me.

My Owen has been sending me signs in another way. Since he was born still, I have seen more and more children named Owen. Before him, I really didn't hear that name often. Now, when I see it or hear it or a friend has a child named Owen or a grandchild named Owen, I instantly think of my boy, and I think of how he is living on through all of these children named Owen. I think of the traits they have that he would have probably had too. This latest lil Owen though, wow, he threw me for a loop, because he was exactly how I pictured my Owen would have been, in looks and in personality and in his love for animals. This was the biggest sign yet, aside from when he said MOM.

As I was reflecting on all of this over the weekend, I realized something. Since my loss of Sisco, I have gotten my Trader. Since my loss of Owen, I have had my Leo. I may have lost Sisco and Owen in the physical sense, but I have gained Trader and Leo, and doubled the number that I have been so very blessed to love. Instead of just two beautiful beings to love, I have gotten FOUR beautiful beings to love and cherish for the rest of my life. Yes, the pain and sorrow will still always be there for the two that cannot be with me on this Earth, but this new realization is one that I will be working on within my mind to try and help myself cope with that sad reality. Trader and Leo help me to cope too. I can throw my arms around them and know that they are so much like Sisco and Owen that it's almost like they are still here. Almost.

So, anyway, that's what has been floating around in my head lately. To those who are also dealing with grief and loss as a part of their daily lives, I send you hugs and prayers. I hope that you are finding your own way to still feel connected to your lost loved ones and to live without them, and know that you are not alone.

Til next time....

Tis the Season!!!!

  

FOR LEGGINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope you didn't think I meant Christmas crap lol I am a FIRM believer in not seeing anything Christmas related until well AFTER the absolute best holiday of them all...........................THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I digress, lol, back to leggings. HOLY CRAP YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED!!??!?!?!?! I have been an abby+anna girl for one whole year!!! Today is my one year anniversary!!!!!!! Whoa!!! That is crazy that I started this blog and then happened to glance at the date and it just hit me that October 11th is my anniversary date with them!!!!! That is crazy!!!! haha Now, I am totally distracted and I forgot what I was going to blog about!!! Oh!!!! I remember. This crazy Indiana weather of ours. Two days ago I was in shorts and a tee and sweating when I was outside. Yesterday, it rained and it was disgusting and chilly outside. I had to add a sweatshirt and capris to my tee. Today, it is sunny, but cold outside and I have on leggings, knee socks, a tee and a sweatshirt, my Sloggers boots, and I had to wear my barn coat as well. I almost put on a sock cap too!!! It's not even mid-October and I'm already freezing my cute lil leggings covered ass off!!!! lmao That's what's on my mind today, yall. Deep thoughts haha Ok, so let's celebrate the return of the sun and my one year anniversary with abby+anna and go buy yourself something hella cute from abby+anna!!!! I double dog dare ya!!! ;)
My link is www.shopabbyanna.com/somethingme Get ready!!!! Get set!!!!!!!! GO SHOP!!!!!!!!!!

Til next time....

Politics Can Suck It

TV is my escape. I look forward to all my shows starting their new seasons in the Fall. Well, I used to..... This Fall I have noticed a change in many of my favorite shows and I couldn't figure out what the heck happened and why things felt different all of the sudden. I felt my excitement fade and I wasn't even caring if I missed several of my favorite shows. I mean, I have been invested in these shows for yearsssssssss, and I'm not one to quit on my shows. But..........................I am THIS close to sayin forget it for some of my favorite series because of one simple reason. Politics. Politics can suck it. I am so beyond over politics. It seems to never stop flooding social media, flooding my TV, flooding life. People have seriously become obsessed with politics and I have a real hard time finding what they actually love or enjoy out of life because all they ever talk about is stupid ass politics. I get on social media these days and scroll a little bit and then become so annoyed with all of the incessant political crap and bashing and hateful shit that spews out of everyone's mouths that I just close out. Now, the writers of some of my favorite shows have decided to pull the same crap and incorporate their stupid political views into my shows. TV IS MY ESCAPE. TV IS HOW I WIND DOWN AND TAKE A BREAK FROM THE STRESSES OF LIFE. I don't want the reality that I have shoved in my face every day showing up on my shows too. I guess I will have to start clicking and closing out of my shows too........ To quote Rockstar.........................I find this...........DISGUSTING.......and just 12 weeks after her daughter's birthday. Go back to making TV entertaining and focusing on getting your viewers to engage and feel, instead of just repeating all of the crap we already have to see every time we open our social media. 

And, now I'd like to give a SHOUT OUT to a few of my shows that have not jumped on this political bandwagon and are sticking with what a TV show should really be about, making you FEEL ALL THE FEELS................................This Is Us, The Resident, a million little things, God Friended Me, SEAL Team, The Good Doctor, Blue Bloods. If you don't watch those, you should check em out!!

To those shows of mine who have chosen to take the ENTERTAINMENT and the FEELS out of your scripts and replace it with political crap, SHAME ON YOU. I repeat, POLITICS CAN SUCK IT!!

Til next time....

Natural Remedies

I have never been one for taking prescription drugs. I just don't like it, don't trust it, don't want it. My mom is the same way. The most I ever take is two Aleve for headaches or elbow pain and I really don't even like doing that. Over the past several years, I have been into the natural and herbal remedies for things. I would much rather start there and see if something natural works for whatever ails me. If you Google "natural remedy" "herbal remedy" or even "natural herbal remedy" for whatever you have going on, you will see a lot of information pop up and learn other ways to treat issues other than pharmacy drugs. You can even go to Images and there will be posters shown that others have made with natural and herbal remedies for many different ailments. Now, this is a very broad range of ailments and I cannot speak to all of them. I can only talk about what I have personally tried and use for my own personal ailments. As with everything I do, research is key!!!!! DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!! Not everyone is going to say the exact same thing, and many times it is just about finding a starting point and then working toward finding what works for YOU. 

As I have gotten older and wiser and my brain seems to work on overtime and think too much and fill itself with all the what if's and any and all possible scenarios that could or could not happen, and it becomes too much sometimes. I call that my Anxiety. Something else that I have noticed more and more is that it feels like the inside of my head is swirling and swirling with ideas and things I need to do and I have a helluva time slowing the swirling down and focusing on just one thing and then the next and the next, etc. I call this my ADD. I have also developed some really crappy elbows lately. It hurts to even lift my coffee up to drink!!!! I'm also a high strung kinda gal. I get amped up easily. I have all the emotions and ain't skeered to show em. I'm sensitive. I'm outspoken. It's who I am and sometimes I exhaust myself and I'm sure I exhaust the people around me too. I also get the lovely stress headaches that like to hang out in knots in the back of my neck and spread up to my eyeballs and hang out for a day or so. And, lastly and grossly, I am one of the super lucky (sarcasm font) people who can get cold sores. Guh-ross!!!!!!! That one is obviously my least favorite, for obvious reasons.

So, allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of that has lead me to finding ways I can treat all my personal ailments naturally and not have to be reliant upon prescription drugs for them. To help me chill out and calm the crap down, I have gotten Himalayan Salt Lamps. I diffuse Peppermint Essential Oil and other EO's in my diffuser and in lockets. They are nice, they are helpful. 

To help me with the grossy gross one, I take L-Lysine daily. Boom. Bye nasties!!

Recently, very recently, I have discovered something that helps me with my biggest issues, the anxiety and the attention issues, plus my headaches and elbow pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I researched and read and researched and read and researched and read. I don't take putting something into my body lightly. I want to understand it and read all the reviews and get a full grasp on something before I will give it a try. This was no different. I had been wanting to try to for a while, but was hesitant. I worried what people might think. But, then I remembered, I don't give a crap what people think lmao I am my own person. I think for myself. I make my own decisions. And this what about ME, about MY body, about MY personal issues that I wanted to get a handle on so that I could be a better me. What did I discover?? Well, I didn't discover it lol That makes me sound like Christopher Columbus or something. What did I decide to try out??? How's that?? Yeah. That's better. What did I decide to try out for my anxiety issues and my attention issues and my headaches and my elbow pain?????? I decided to try out CBD OIL!!!!!!!!!!!! Technically, I decided to try out the CBD Oil gummies (aka edibles) and see if they really truly lived up to their recent hype. Well, ya know what..........................they did. I researched and found some companies who are top in many of the reviews I read while researching. I had to do math and figure out the dosages and what would be a good starting point for my size. I started out small and found a level that worked. I don't take it daily or take more than is suggested. I take what works for me and helps me with my anxiety and ADD and headaches and elbow pain. These aren't daily issues, but happen multiple times a week for me. CBD Oil is good for soooooooooooooo many things!!!! I read many stories while I was researching of folks who had been taking prescription meds for years and once they tried CBD Oil and got their personal dosage figured out, they were able to toss those prescriptions all together!!! I also had a dear friend that I knew was the same as I am and takes the natural approach, so she was a huge help in answering my questions and helping me to talk through this decision and figure it all out. It's one thing to read things written by strangers, but it's another thing to be able to speak to someone you know and trust about something so personal as dealing with your personal issues on a natural level.

So, that's that. I have been trying to find something to post about to get back into my blogging, but you can't choose it, it has to choose you. This morning, it chose me and I knew this was what I wanted to post about to get myself back into the swing of blogging. I guess you could say that blogging is another of my natural treatments. It really helps when I get stuck on something that I can't sort out. Writing and venting help to clear your mind, so you can move forward.

Now if I could only find a natural treatment for my easily annoyed issues and dealing with stupid people issues and rage issues lmao ;) I think that might be called MAGIC.

Til next time....